Just the Bug Guy
by xXCharmed by his smileXx
Summary: A short story about Hodgins' feelings as he watches Angela from afar and wonders about what could be. Set before established relationship. A/H


_**Just the Bug Guy**_

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Angela Montenegro, Jack Hodgins or any other recognisable characters mentioned below. The only thing I own is the plot.

**A/N**: Well this is my first attempt at an Angela/Hodgins fanfiction. I normally stick to Booth and Brennan. Hope you like. All reviews are greatly appreciated.

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_Sitting there,_

_Watching; waiting,_

_I wonder,_

_Why are you alone?_

I watch you from across the room as you focus intently on your work. You are always determined to give the victims their identities back after the horrible crimes that have been committed against them. Give their loved ones peace after so long without answers. But as you work I wonder, why you are alone? You are the only artist in the Jeffersonian squint squad, as Booth puts it, but yet you are the heart of the team. You shouldn't be alone when you hold the team together.

_Surrounded by friends,_

_Yet by yourself,_

_Do they not notice you?_

_Like I do?_

But after work you're a completely different person. You're the party girl always encircled by a group of friends, always with a smile and a drink in your hands, waiting for some hot guy to come along and sweep you off your feet for the night. Yet the men are always there just for your looks. They don't know the real you and they don't care either. But I know you … and yet I still don't know you, but I'm willing to spend the rest of my life finding out.

_A goddess in their midst,_

_Beauty undefined._

_Hair the colour of dark chocolate,_

_Eyes the shade of toffee,_

_Words can not define,_

_The beauty that shall yet,_

_Never be mine._

You flirt with them, before letting them go as though they were never there. They mean nothing to you, just someone to spend the long lonely nights with - to fill the mind numbing boredom that comes from spending every day by yourself. And yet I envy the nameless guys, even though everyone knows they will never last past the night, because they get to spend even a moment in your presence.

I watch you as sketch the skull in front of you, undoubtedly trying to recreate the persons face as it would have looked before. You continue to draw from memory, only glancing up now and again to confirm the details so you can achieve a result as close to reality as possible. A look of quiet determination is evident as you furrow your brow and strive to get every detail perfect. And that's what you are in my eyes. Perfect. Always. With flawless makeup and hairstyle, the newest clothes from the latest fashion trends.

_You smile and joke,_

_But you're not really there._

_I wonder if I told you a joke,_

_Would you laugh?_

_When I walk up to you,_

_Would you smile?_

You constantly have a smile on your face as you again try to force Booth and Dr Brennan together, hoping that they will finally admit their feelings for each other. It never works, yet you always try. You constantly have a bright outlook on life, even when the world has dealt you a bad hand.

_Or would you continue to ignore,_

_The feelings I show,_

_The love ingrained in me so deeply,_

_It hurts to breathe._

I see you smiling sadly at the picture that you have drawn. You must be finished. Now Booth and Brennan can inform the family. Your job is done. Privately, sometimes I wonder if it _is_ better to know what happened to that person that was taken from your life.

The families finally get answers to long overdue questions, but at the same time their lives are shattered, knowing irrefutably that their loved one will never be coming home - any hope they had clung onto is snatched away from them.

I know that you have been on both sides; that you have been in the position of the family as well. Does it better know? I remember how distraught you were when Kirk died and I have my answer. Of course it is better to know what has happened. Because knowing, knowing how it happened and the comfort that the perpetrator would never be able to do it again to someone else's loved one made a difference. It would never bring that vital person in your life back, but you would get some means of closure from it.

I wonder, would you ever consider me as a _Loved One? _Not just as a co worker and friend but as someone more. Someone who would light up your day, just by a glance or a smile in your direction. It hurts to know that you will probably never return my feelings.

_Would you return the feelings alike?_

_Or would you turn and laugh?_

_Is the chance that you would return my love,_

_Enough to outweigh the loss of your decline?_

My eyes focus on your back again as I watch you. You must feel my stare as you look up in my direction. You catch me looking … I'm not quite fast enough to divert my glance. You smile at me, the first real smile all day and it gives me a warm feeling in my stomach to know that I was the one to cause it. I wonder if I asked what your feelings were, would they resemble mine?

_But why would you return these childish desires,_

_You are beauty, I am the beast._

_Or in simpler terms,_

You indicate with your thumb at your drawing, letting me know that you're finished. I nod as you stand up, exiting your office in search of Brennan. My smile falls and I turn back to my work. I wonder briefly if one day I'll tell you my feelings, but I doubt it. They are just childish desires that I should have grown out of a long time ago. Why would you even have feelings for me?

After all…

_You are the artist; and I am the bug guy._

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**A/N:** So what do you think? Any good or should I go back to the drawing board? Review if you feel inclined to do so. All reviews and comments are appreciated!!!


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